Lots, and I mean LOTS of changes have occurred in the circus that is my personal life. These include but are not limited to:
- Switching careers entirely. Yep, left the world of bridal for something a little more corporate. I work for the Home Depot at their corporate headquarters, and I have to admit that I love it. Who knew? (Fair warning: if you ever happen upon me in a store, don't ask me where anything is. I have no idea. Nor do I know what size PVC pipe you need for your toilet. Though I must admit that I look damn sexy in an orange apron.)
- My husband switching careers entirely.
- Oh and we had a kid. Let's not forget about that psycho/adorable lil' nugget.
But the bottom line is that I miss talking about pretty things every now and then. Don't get me wrong: the world of HVAC repair and cabinet refacing is quite glamorous, but I need to think about something beautiful, mindless, and shallow every once in a while. So here I am!! Lucky you. Consider yourself slapped in the face with the open hand of awesome.
I thought I'd start off by a good old-fashioned list. A lot has changed since I last blogged, so I wanted to make a list of the top things I've learned in the world of makeup and fashion over the past four years. Is the suspense KILLING you??? I thought so. Here goes.
1. J Lo is still the most beautiful human alive.
This post is perfectly timed for the beginning of the new Idol season, so she and I have had two dates this week. I mean come ON. The woman had her hair in an 80's top pony with powder blue eyeshadow and she looked like a flipping ANGEL. I find myself creepily pausing the DVR just to look at her. (Cue the restraining order.)
2. The sock bun was an adorable trend while it lasted, but I think it's time to put the tube sock back in the drawer.
Let me clarify "adorable:" adorable to WOMEN. Men HATE the sock bun. Totally un-sexy. But hey, you've got dirty hair but still want to look like you're relatively stylish, throw that mofo into a sock bun and put on some red lipstick and BAM you have the "oops I am accidentally trendy" look. All of that being said, I think it's time to move on. Perhaps experiment with a new braid. More to come on that eventually.
3. Tattoos are addictive.
In case you didn't know this, I've become very hard and edgy. I have two whole tattoos. Two. Don't look at me funny; I might fight you.
4. Botox is the greatest scientific innovation of our time.
Some people might disagree with this (Polio vaccine? Space travel? Minuscule in comparison), but I'm sticking to my guns. Let me clarify one point: Subtle, wrinkle-reducing Botox = good. OVERDONE Botox = bad. I'm looking at you, Cortney Cox. Good God.
Here's a funny story: I fainted when I got my first Botox. My buddy Jane was with me and witnessed the whole thing. That's right, I passed the eff out. So much for being hard and edgy. But hey, once they brought me back, I finished the drill! A small blackout wasn't going to stand in the way of a smaller frown line. I'm too vain for that.
5. Aside from a formal gown, I've yet to find an article of clothing that doesn't look fetch* with some sort of Frye boot.
***POP CULTURE QUIZ: If you know the movie and origin of the word "fetch," you get bonus points.***
Also, recently, I have discovered my version of an Urban Shoe Myth: a Frye wedge ankle bootie. What WHAT?? I have naughty dreams about those boots. I would do so many things with them..... But I digress.
Obviously this list could continue for ages, but a brain can only take in so much ground-breaking info at a time before it explodes. You're welcome.
Looking forward to talking makeup and other pretty things in 2015! I need some glamour in my life. Who wants to join me?
Peace, Love, and Pretty Faces
Mere
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